Letting Go of Toxic Friends

“Not everyone has your best interest at heart”.  I wish that this quote wasn’t as important or held any value in our lives. Unfortunately, it has been proven to be ABSOLUTELY TRUE. What is a friendship?  A relationship where you can talk to each other, spend time together, trust each other, help each other through hurt and troubles.  A true friendship means that person will always have your back and will be dependable no matter what. 

Anyone who cannot exhibit any or all of these qualities and makes you feel uncomfortable, sad, hurt, embarrassed, or even crazy and anxious: they are toxic AF and it is time to let go.

It is easy to identify them, believe me!

• Mr. Gaslighter

He manipulates you to the point where you start doubting or have to defend your reality.  He denies conversations or events ever happen, always twisting the story with outright lies and exaggeration, always playing the victim and never taking responsibility for his toxic behavior.

• Ms. Narcissistic

She truly believes that she is better than everyone around her.  She only cares about herself, and what only benefits her.  She lacks sympathy or empathy.  She constantly talks about herself and her accomplishments all the time, never asking anything about yours.  She is skilled at pulling all the attention to her.  The validation and admiration must be owned by her only.  It’s the toxicity for me!

• Mr. Controller

Needs to be in charge of everything and tries to control everything around him.  He makes you feel like you can never do anything right.  He constantly criticizes every action if it didn’t go to HIS liking.  He can even go as far as trying to change you and what you stand for.  Toxicity at its best!

• Ms. Drama Queen 

Drama seems to follow her everywhere she goes.  More than likely caused by her!  She feeds off gossip and drama about everyone and everything.  Remember people who gossip with you, will gossip about you.  A real toxic trait.

• Ms. Green with Envy

Can never be happy about your successes.  Minimizes other people’s character to feel better about herself.  She pretends to care and offers fake support when you are going through a tough time.  She THRIVES off of your demise.  It makes her happy when you fail.  You should never be successful if she is not. 

• Mr. User

Most likely, you may have been friends with him for a long time but never really picked up on this vibe.  You only hear from him when he needs something.  Only withdrawing from the friendship and never depositing!  Then, sure enough, they disappear when the favor needs to be returned.  He cares about nothing else but himself and when it suits HIM best.  THE MOST TOXIC of all! 

• Ms. Two-Faced

She laughs in your face but behind your back, she is slowly driving knives.  She drifts into your life so smoothly, manipulating you to the point where you feel so comfortable sharing your personal life.  She seems so sweet and genuine. 

All the while she is only pretending to get information that’s beneficial to her at that moment, then just like the weather, she changes.  She goes around showing the other side of her face to someone else by saying the vilest and unpleasant things about you.  TOXIC AF!

How can we protect our peace, self-worth, and energy?

• Cherish your privacy.  Be careful who you confide in.  Toxic people use that information as ammunition against you.  Make yourself less available. 
• Channel your positive energy toward positive people and things that are beneficial to your life.  Stay away from the negativity.
• Love them from afar by setting healthy boundaries.  Don’t give your energy away to these toxic people, they are fighting a battle with themselves, it does not involve you.  They do not have your best interest at heart.

Oftentimes, we know their traits and tolerate them because we love them, we accept their toxic behavior because “that’s just the way they are”.  Nope.  They DO NOT get to walk all over your mind with their dirty feet.  Isn’t it better to surround yourself with people who can uplift you instead of bringing you down and making you feel less than? 

Have you encountered any of these types of friends?  How have you dealt with them?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

XOXO

“Let go of the people who dull your shine, poison your spirit and bring you drama”

DR, STEVE MARABOLI