Mother’s Lessons, Grandmother’s Wisdom

Growing up, especially with Caribbean parents and grandparents, I must admit that I have received the most invaluable life lessons.  Today I still remember the old parables, the innuendos, and the lectures that have certainly remained a part of my life. 

Here are a few Gems.

• EVERYONE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND

This has been drilled into my brain all my life.  My mother knew my personality was that of trusting too easily.  She would always say “not everyone has your best interest at heart” or Granny would say in her Trini accent “all skin teeth eh laugh” meaning not everyone smiling in your face is actually happy for you or with you.  Choose your friends wisely.

• PRAY FOR THE STORM AS WELL AS THE SUN 

My grandmother was a very spiritual woman.  Prayers and praying were always an essential staple in our humble home.  To this day, I still carry on the mantle of praying, not only for the good that is happening in my life (the sun) but when life knocks me down, (the storm).  I pray for the understanding and patience to wait for the sun again.  God intercedes and grants us favor and grace in all situations.

• KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS 

People project their insecurities and drama unto you, it’s up to you to discern who’s being genuine or not.  When someone is being less than humane, Granny would say “don’t fight fire with fire” be kind always even though your kindness was not acknowledged, do it anyway. 

• SAVE FOR A RAINY DAY

This has always stuck with me throughout my life.  Especially with a career in finance.  Always save enough in case there is rain (a grave need or an unexpected life event) so you are better prepared financially for it.  Granny’s saying “always have ya vex money”.

• LOVE EACH OTHER ALWAYS

This was my grandmother’s mantra.  Her love for family and love for God was insurmountable.  Growing up in a household with only females, there would be arguments, fights, and disagreements, but love would prevail every time.  It’s where I got this loving personality.  I grew up with love around me always.

• BE INDEPENDENT

The fact that I grew up with my mother and grandmother without a father figure around, could be where this lesson derived.  Don’t sit and wait for anyone to do it for you.  Get up and get it for yourself.  It’s nice if someone can help you achieve it but it’s even better when you accomplish it on your own.  You appreciate it, even more, when your sweat and tears were ingredients used to make that accomplishment come true.

• NEVER ENVY

You never know what someone had to go through to get to where they are in their life.  The material things they flash before you to represent status, you should never be envious.  I’ve lived by that lesson, I have always wanted my own.  I don’t know how to be jealous of another person’s accomplishments or possessions.  I’m always happy and ready to celebrate your wins. 

Granny’s saying “don’t make your eyes long” or “all that glitters isn’t gold”.  Don’t look at what others possess, their gold may have been ill-gotten.  You never know.  Keep your eyes fixated on your own prize.

• MONEY CAN’T BUY HAPPINESS

But you can dry your tears with your GUCCI scarf!  Just kidding.  Social Media has shown us so much of the celebrities we idolize, we repost their lives as “goals”, but sometimes we see the true, vulnerable side of their life, some of them are so miserable and unhappy. 

All the money in the world but they still took their lives.  Why?  You don’t know what someone is going through, what demons are being fought behind closed doors.  Money isn’t everything.  Sometimes chasing the money isn’t everything, the freedom that comes with having money makes the difference. 

I hope these Gems provided a bit of insight and a smile on your face.  Thank you, Selma (I call my mom affectionately by her first name) for all the lessons learned.  Thank you, Granny Sheila (continue to Rest In Peace) for all of your wisdom you’ve imparted.  I am the woman I am today because of you both. 

What are some Gems that your mothers or grandmothers have passed onto you?  Share in the comments.

XOXO

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom”

ARISTOTLE